Grieving everything

At the beginning of this pandemic in mid-March, our lives as we knew them got thrown into the spin cycle. Suddenly we couldn’t go to the store normally, we couldn’t eat in restaurants, we couldn’t attend family functions without risk. We as a world have somewhat adapted to my newly-hated catch-phrase “the new normal.” An ambiguous term that means one week you can go to the park, the next week it is closed and what ever other amalgamation our local governments cook up to mix public safety with businesses allowed to eke out rent.

My office director gave us all a friendly email and linked an article from the Harvard Business Review called “That Discomfort You’re Feeling Is Grief.” It gave me a useful term to add to my vocabulary: “anticipatory grief.” In short, you know some really bad shit is going to happen, just where when and to what extreme. And as a kicker, how much it will affect you and your family.

Six months into this pandemic, the bad shit continues to roll in. We are stuck in our homes with very few options aside from supply runs and a run to the park if it is deemed legal. My wife and I took our dogs out and there is a “one person” per activity limit. Just as we pulled in to the parking lot with our two dogs, a policeman rolled right up to us and just parked. He was watching what we were going to do. Dutifully, my wife got out of the car got one dog and walked about 50 feet, before I got out of the car and walked “individually,” like we were two strangers that got out of the same car. After a while he left and we were confused like scofflaws with guilt being caught after lifting a candy bar from 7-11.

I understand why we have to do this. Watching super-spreader events like college parties and MAGA rallies boil my blood even more than the oppression of having dog walking supervision from the local PD. It is the super spreaders who make so we have to do this. People tossing science aside because of their “rights” with little regard of who they may spread the virus to and who will later die as a result. Just with the same disregard of setting off a wildfire because of a gender reveal.

As I am writing this, I realize it is more just venting on my part. The reality is that this situation is causing communities and families to crumble apart before our very eyes. It will take enormous strength for us to pull through and make our “new normal” feel normal again.

Be kind to yourself. Be kind to one another.

14 thoughts on “Grieving everything

  1. sdeden

    I hear you! This is all so hard. BTW thank you for the sequence you sent. I finally had time to do it properly this weekend, and wow. It was very intense and somehow just what I needed. Thank you again for sending it!

    Liked by 1 person

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  2. Amber Foxx

    One thought: I’d be grateful if our local police actually enforced anything meant to prevent the spread of covid. Another thought: Yes, we are grieving, in ways we don’t always realize. Better than being numb, though, to acknowledge the grief. Thanks for naming it.

    Liked by 2 people

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  3. k8macdo

    Well that particular law makes no sense if applied to two people who live together. That does zero to prevent the spread of the virus. Understandable if folks get vexed. We need to create rational and effective rules, not stupid and arbitrary ones.

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    1. YB Post author

      Thanks Kate! Much agreed. If there would have been a top-down everyone wear a mask coming from the US government from mid-March, the America would be in much better shape. Instead our Orange Windbag had to politicize mask wearing. I’m sure Canada has its flaws, but at least most of your population believes in science. It’s weird here. Many blessings.

      Liked by 1 person

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  4. anonymous sadhaka

    Your post reminded me of a poem I wrote a few months ago, a few weeks into the lock down.

    Sometimes, the need for a mourning as such is to mourn the fragility of human lives and a poem springs-

    I feel the urge to keen

    lament in beautiful tongues

    that I don’t understand

    I want to partake

    the bewilderment

    Of a species as it mourns

    I want to

    share their grief and

    walk to distanced funerals

    And along with all this

    I want to keen

    for losses of another kind

    That of little children

    and a lost summer of

    urchins and the home schooled

    Liked by 2 people

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  5. elgrabar

    I do agree with your sentiments. It’s especially frustrating to see and read about those who are being affected by those who choose to do as they please… even within the yoga community. If you cannot walk together as a married couple, how can yoga studios morally offer in-person in-studio classes?

    Liked by 1 person

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    1. YB Post author

      Funny, I was just listening to a podcast summarizing the UK’s parilament. Sounds like they can make some changes but are sitting like bumps on a log. Sounds like Putin is trying to shoehorn his way to your government too. Hope you are okay.

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      Reply
  6. Joan Scalzone

    What a terrible rule that a couple cannot walk together with their dogs. We are in a bad situation that is disrupting our lives and relationships. We need each other more than ever. This well written post expresses the frustration that this virus has imposed on our lives.

    On Mon, Sep 14, 2020, 9:07 PM Home Yoga Practice wrote:

    > YB posted: ” At the beginning of this pandemic in mid-March, our lives as > we knew them got thrown into the spin cycle. Suddenly we couldn’t go to the > store normally, we couldn’t eat in restaurants, we couldn’t attend family > functions without risk. We as a world have ” >

    Liked by 1 person

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